you don't have to know how i'm doing
coz you don't even bother anymore ): ...


i will not let you be alone again...
but will you come back?

would you still go?
- 35 days & counting

I've read...
& I'm sorry to everyone who feels the same way

you guys did not do anything wrong.
it's not that i don't want to share with you guys,
it's because i know you guys wouldn't be able to help me,
because it's fragile and not easily fixed.
furthermore, I've tried my best. but still it didn't work.

I'm sorry about the way I've been treating everyone of you.
it's just that I've been feeling down,
& i know you guys can see that too.
but for now, i just want to be alone.
not really alone as 'alone',
but 'alone' as in with who I'm comfortable
sharing my problems with.

& no, I'm not treating you guys as my replacements.
please don't misunderstand. i need space now.
i don't know how long I'm going to take,
but i know it'll be quite long.
I'm not sacrificing the friendship that we had
just to save another.
both are equally important,
but I'm having problems with the other more.

& yes i am trying very hard to save that friendship.
& sorry for neglecting the one i already had.
I'm not angry with her, not angry with you guys.
I'm angry and disappointed with myself.
please stop saying about her alright?
i know I've been feeling down and neglecting you guys,
but don't drag her into the picture.

i admit to you guys now,
that i still love her. i have to admit,
& I've made it clear here.
i know you guys would think she's
not worth the wait or to be with,
but i don't care about what you
guys think because i love her for who she is.
I'm sorry if i said any wrong
things that i shouldn't have said.
but I'm letting out my feelings,
so that none is kept from you guys.
so please, don't talk bad about her,
don't drag her into the picture.

she's not to blame, i am.
i caused this misunderstanding among us.
so once again, i beg from you guys,
don't talk bad about her.
if you want to talk bad about me,
I'm fine with it, but not about her.
i know you guys may have been
gossipping about us, please stop.
especially concerning her.
if it's about me, i don't mind.

i know it's kind of lame and childish
to do this through blogging.
but since it was started
right here on blogger, i shall continue.
i hope i didn't offend anyone in this post.
and last but not least,
i hope I've made myself clear to you guys
about my feelings towards her.
so please understand.
I'm sorry once again.
just a request, don't backstab her. thanks [:

i'm upset with myself.
i'm disappointed with myself.
i'm not happy with myself.

I have been finishing up my holiday assignments for the past few days. Hanging out with the group of people whom I hardly hang out with, was rather interesting. However, I'm sorry to them yet again, as being there with you guys and having fun together, is still not the same type of fun feeling that i felt when she was there too. I'm sorry, but i'm glad that I've been chilling with you guys. They helped me enjoy time instead of brooding over something for once in a while.

I must admit though, that I still think about that particular thing time and time again. I know you want me to stop, but honestly, I can't and I know you won't bother. I guess your prayer was fulfilled, didn't it? Anyway, I'm left with a few other homeworks. They will be completed tomorrow.

I spent some time at the playground where we spent time together one night. You were sitting on the swing, & I was pushing you. We sat side by side opposite the swing, smiling and enjoying each other's company. We were carefree then . . .



" Sometimes the person we love are the hardest to love "

after believing that it was misplaced
for so long, i finally found the ring again.
it was never lost, it was kept safely in my drawer,
in a container, away from dust and scratches.

do you still remember the ring?

went to vivo
then to sentosa
then to town
all by myself.

just wanted to familiarise myself
with the buses 'coz i ain't good at it.

here's some pics:





yes, remember this place?

i wanted you to tag along,
'coz i recalled you wanted to do something there,
but you weren't free ):



it's nearing soon [:
- 44 days & counting

Each time I turned and looked around . . .

went out with friends today.
initially I had other plans,
but they cajoled me, and i don't want to disappoint.

they tried their best,
to entertain me.
but i'm sorry,
it's just not the same without you.

the atmosphere,
it's just different...
but guys, i appreciate your effort.
thank you.

. . . I kept seeing image of your face